Musings From Home

People keep asking "Is it good to be home?"  Or stating, "Must be good to be home!!"  When I hear this I feel the need to say "yes", and yet I find myself pausing, unsure of the answer.  I don't want people to feel I'm not happy to be here, as there is definitely much to be "happy" about being home.  However, I loved our time in Uganda.  I loved the sounds, the sights, the people.  I loved watching my kids enjoy themselves,  play, and make some great friends.  I loved having people around all the time and walking out at any time of the day to find the Mama's working away at something.  I loved seeing the kids walking up the hill as they returned from school and the excitement that brought for all of us that "Yay, they are home!!"  I loved getting 52 hugs every night, and more during the day. I liked driving on the bumpy roads either on the back of a Boda Boda or in the back of Crazy Jonny's van. I just loved it, plain and simple.   Owen wandered upstairs about 10 minutes after I had put him to bed last night and collapsed on the couch in tears proclaiming "I miss Uganda and my friends there".

On the other hand, I have to admit that there are things I am enjoying about being home.  I like having toast in the morning.  I like not having to sleep under a mosquito net.  I don't miss brushing our teeth with bottled water using a headlamp for lighting.  I loved watching my kids see a few of their friends and the excitement that brought for them.  I've liked seeing some friends and getting caught up.  Tonight I even enjoyed the chance to see a few clients and hear about their lives these past couple of months.

I have not liked the television, the Wii,  the lack of space for our kids to play, not hearing little voices outside my window in the morning, wondering "what is on the agenda for today?" or how we will spend our time.  I have also disliked the ridiculous amount of time and space taken up by stores and consumerism, the grumbling I have already been privy to about trivial things or things that one could actually be thankful for.  I did not like having to say good-bye to Scott and the kids as I left for work.  I love my home, but even that feels like it's all too much....a fireplace? shiny countertops?? Three bathrooms?? Comfort.....that is the word that keeps coming to mind.  In Canada we have a lot of it.....but I am not convinced it is always good for us.  Has it made us both less resilient to discomfort and simultaneously less able to enjoy the comforts we do have??  These are things I wonder.

I also wonder when I will get back to Uganda.  When will I see those 52 children I love so much?

There are other things that I have mixed feelings about like not having to scrub my kids feet (or whole bodies) every night, feeling I should shower everyday, using a blow dryer, having a phone and high speed internet, Starbucks,  flushing the toilet after every use (did I really train my children to do this?? ).  Oh yes, my closet of clothes and my kids toys.   I say my feelings are mixed because I would have thought these would be unquestionable LOVES for me, yet I find myself ambivalent about such things.  Hmmmm.

On a more practical level,  at least one of our kids continues to be up by 5 am which makes for long days, and my own body and mind feel completely confused about when to be tired, hungry or even processing where I am waking up in the morning, or if I ever left here.

In the midst of it all I am incredibly content.  God has been so kind to us.......as have others.  We are Blessed beyond what we deserve.

Home Sweet (& sad) Home

Weird Blog Title, I know.

But that's the feeling now that we've arrived back home.

Sweet: Hot water out of a tap.  Hot showers.  Familiar bed. Toast from a toaster.  Quick internet.

Sad: Missing the kids & workers in Uganda. Goodbye to simplicity.  Less learning experiences from the great Ugandan people.  Lack of adventure.

Those are some of the first initial thoughts from my clouded mind this morning.

We've got more to say in the next few days as we process the experience as a family....and we still have a "lessons learned' blog to post (haven't forgotten)...but that will have to wait.

Just wanted to let you know that we're back home safe and somewhat sound.  Thanks to all of you who kept us in your prayers....one last blog to come...

S&T